Righting The Ship: Weathering the Storms of Bipolar II Disorder

No one teaches you the subtleties, the nuances of your mental illness. No one teaches you how to be vigilant in looking for those patterns of behaviour that might just be the next approaching storm. Both require patience and a deep understanding of oneself. In September 2014 I had neither. In September 2014 I was only awakening to the realization that I was terribly ill. But I didn't know the nature of that illness, didn't know how or where to get help, and I certainly didn't know myself. Somewhere over the years I'd lost myself to darkness, something I came to call The Black. While It had a name, and a weight, and a looming presence that sought to block out all light and connection, I didn't know what It was. In order to heal, to rediscover that lost self, I had to find this out. If I didn't do that I knew I'd be in deep trouble and that I'd likely repeat my drastic action. The first were, as they often are, propelled by the simplest happenstance. I ove...

The beginning of Righting The Ship on Blogger is the end of a long, winding, fitful, circular creation. Perhaps end isn't the right word but in a very real way I'm back to where my blogging first began. I have come full circle. My first blog was called The Three of Me and I created it on Blogger in 2015. Initially, it was a private blog shared only with my son so he could track my recovery after a suicide attempt. However, he believed that others might benefit from my writing and encouraged me to make the blog public. In this, and in so much more since that suicide attempt, my son has been a steadfast and loving support. He has taught me so much and I deeply appreciate everything he has done, and continues to do, to support me. For reasons that are, frankly, not fully known by me I moved from Blogger to a hosted wordpress.com site and then to a self-hosted wordpress.org site. The Three of Me name stuck around for a while, and I added a second blog called jots and thoughts. Unex...

We steer the boat of our lives into healing and recovery. (from a former X account @CombatstressVet on March 26, 2021) When I read that sentence, I immediately thought of the name I've given this blog, Righting The Ship. To me, this sentence perfectly captures why I chose that name. Righting The Ship is about weathering storms, about correcting the list towards depression or hypomania caused by those storms. It’s about grabbing hold of the helm and steering the ship towards healing and recovery. The name is three small words that evoke hope, balance, and future. I can imagine approaching the rocky shoals of depression and despair, or the oncoming rogue waves of overwhelming hypomania. The ship is storm-tossed, yet I see the lighthouse shining ahead, directing me to the safer path. It offers solitude ahead thereby preventing me from capsizing, from sinking, and from losing my way. I admit I did think of being clever with the name, calling the blog Writing the Ship. This, I felt ca...